This is temporary: reflections on a Peace Corps service

It’s been a while since I have blogged and that’s not because there’s a shortage of things to say.  Since I last wrote,

I co-led an overnight leadership camp for 30 Guatemalan youth.

I traveled through Nicaragua and Panama with my best friend AND met up with my best mom and best sister in Costa Rica to celebrate Christmas.  I also edited and published a health curriculum with this best friend and our 500 teachers.  (We deserved a vacation!)

I hosted an event for International Women’s Day entitled “A Celebration of Women Leaders and the Men Whom Support Them”.  (By far the most enjoyable, successful, and important thing that I did as a Peace Corps Volunteer.)

I met the Second Lady, Dr. Jill Biden.

The reason I haven’t written in a while is because there have been a lot of feelings about wrapping up my Peace Corps service and they have been coming and going and changing so rapidly, that it has been hard to write them down.  

Over the past two years, my fellow Peace Corps Volunteers and I have repeated to each other, “This is temporary.”   The words were a comforting promise that whatever frustration or failure was bothering us would pass because the US government guaranteed us a ticket back home after two years of service; irritating counterparts, lousy transportation, and stray dogs were not welcome to follow us back.  “This is temporary.  This is temporary.  This is temporary.”

However, in the past few months, the thought “This is temporary” became more threatening than reassuring.  You see, there wasn’t enough time to finish the work that I wanted to do.  There wasn’t enough time to make Guatemala a better place for children or a safer place for women.  There wasn’t even enough time to properly say good-bye to the people and places I had grown to love.  

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So, my last months were incredibly busy and filled with three competing and, at times, overwhelming sentiments:

1) Sadness.  You probably could have guessed this one.  Endings are hard.  Even though I was not in love with Guatemala or my experience there, it was what I knew.  For two years, I worked hard to build a life – full of friends, a stand-in family, hobbies, a cozy house, and work.  To leave all of that life “de una vez” (all at once) was sad, to say the least.  The worst was saying good-bye to my 5-year old and 3-year old host brothers, in whose entire memory I had been around and whom had no way to conceptualize a “forever good-bye”.

2) Guilt.  It is said that one of the first things Returned Peace Corps Volunteers must do is deal with the guilt of an unfinished mission.  Just recently an article was published on why Guatemala is one of the worst places in the world to be a child.   It felt like a slap across the face for many of us who had just given everything we had for the past two years to make it a better place to be a child.

At no point in time did I think I was going to “save” Guatemala, but I thought I would feel better about my efforts.  Instead, short school days, random and frequent Guatemalan holidays, scary dogs, scarier men, and bizarre illnesses were ready to stop my efforts at every turn.  Sometimes I was able to work around those obstacles and be effective, but more often than not, those obstacles were incredibly successful in stagnating my work.

My plight over the past two years has been intertwined with that of Guatemala and Guatemalans.  So it feels like "cheating" to just up and leave, while the people I have grown close to have no choice but to remain.  How to honor my time in Guatemala, remember both the lessons I learned and the people I met, and still move forward will definitely be my biggest challenge in the months ahead.  In the words of a friend, "we can't pretend that didn't happen".  Although, that sometimes feel like an appealing option.

3)  Readiness.  Luckily, I feel so ready for my next adventure.  I squeezed every last bit of learning and opportunity out of my 26 months in Guatemala and I want to use what I have learned in my life back in the USA.  I also feel incredibly burnt out; in fact that might be an understatement.  I need to recharge; luckily, I have three months of travel in South America and a summer back home to let it all settle-in and prepare for the next challenge, whatever that may be (i.e. I need to find a job).

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I believe that “This is temporary” is the most important lesson that I learned as a Peace Corps Volunteer.  No amount of struggle or awkwardness lasts, and neither do opportunities.  If I have changed at all in the past two years (and I hope I have) it is because I have learned this lesson a million times over.  So, whatever feelings I may currently have about my time in Guatemala, I know that they, too, are temporary.

I will end by sharing the words that I wrote for my close of service “ringing of the bell”, a ceremony that Peace Corps Guatemala uses to mark the successful completion of a Peace Corps service.

The truth is that this has been the most difficult experience of my life.  However, today I feel content because I am proud of all that I have done, learned, and tried.

I am grateful for the fear, anger, and sadness that I have felt here because with these feelings, I understand more about the suffering of the world.

I am grateful for the challenges of being a woman in Guatemala, because they taught me that fighting for the rights of women is the purpose of my life.

I am grateful that my best friends in Cajolá were children because with them I learned to play and enjoy the little things in life again.

I am grateful for all of my co-workers who did not agree with my ideas because these experiences were opportunities to practice compromise.

More than anything, I am grateful for the other Volunteers.  To learn, grow, play, and work with them has been the greatest honor of my life.  For 100% certain, I would not be here without them.

Truly, I am not sure if I will return to Guatemala, but maybe I do not need to because Guatemala will always be in my heart and in the way that I live my life.

Thank you for sharing these experiences and your country with me.

All smiles after officially closing our service.

Ringing the ceremonial bell!  Yayy!

Thank you for your support and love over the past two years.  Seeing people become excited about and inspired by the same things that I was becoming excited about and inspired by was the most touching part of my service.  I am so ready to get back and would love to share all of these tales IN PERSON!  I can't wait to see you! XOXO

Kelley

A Few Things You Won't Find on My Résumé

I am starting to think about what comes after Peace Corps.  While brushing up my résumé, I've noticed that a lot of what I have learned has shaped who I am at this moment, but isn't necessarily going to be shared with a future employer.  

Here are ten things that I've learned in Guatemala that you won't find on my resume:

1. I've learned how to fix a toilet.

In fact, this is tonight's victory.

2. I've learned to be a victim.  (Actually, to be honest, this is a work in progress.)

You can prepare yourself with the most information and the best intentions, but every once in a while you fall prey to something out of your control: weather, crime, or ignorance, just to name a few.  Sometimes this stress requires me to take a nap, but I try to get out of bed the next day with as much guts and grace as I can muster, and I just put one foot in front of the other.

3.  I've learned how to spend time by myself.

My own house is a little quieter than the house I grew up in.  (Scratch that, it's a lot quieter.  Six people is a lot of people in one house.)  I've learned to eat by myself, to spend Friday nights by myself, to exercise by myself, and to work quietly by myself, just to name a few.  This definitely isn't my favorite part of the Peace Corps experience, but I'm glad to know that I can be content all by myself.

4. I've learned how to disagree.

This is true of my experience with Peace Corps Volunteers and with Guatemalans.  My 'Peace Corps World' can be very small.  The people I work with are also my best friends.  Peace Corps Volunteers come from all over the US and each Volunteer has their own set of values and reasons for being here.  We don't always agree, but I've learned to play nice and to respect people even if I think some of their ideas are really stupid or they really irritate me some days.  

As for my work with Guatemalans, sometimes all I can do is say my piece and sit back down.  I like to think that even if I just feel like I'm banging my head against the wall, at least I make a tiny bit of noise while doing so.  I am a guest in their country and must always act as such.

5. I've learned that relationships really are the best investment.

I'm lucky to be part of a group of Peace Corps Volunteers that is absolutely the best support system a girl could ask for.  The investments I have made in friendship (via lengthy telephone calls, long bus rides to visit friends, and shared care packages) have seen unbelievable returns.  I would not still be here if it weren't for all of the wonderful people I have met.  They have saved me time and time again.  

This is the lesson that I feel most certain I must bring back to my life in the U.S. of A.  A career and the "real world" will certainly take it's toll, but I know that I must continue to invest in friendships because... well... they're the best.

6. I've learned how to say "Go F*** Your Mother" in Spanish.

Unfortunately, there are people in the world who deserve to hear it.  Every once in a while, for the sake of self-preservation, you have to stop making excuses for other people and admit to yourself that maybe there are jerks in the world and there probably is nothing you can do about it.  I thought that two years in the developing world would make me a softer, more patient person and while this is true in many ways, I've also learned to stand-up for myself.  

7. I've remembered how much I love reading.

Maybe it's a result of all of that alone time, but I have really fallen in love with reading again.  I've always liked reading, but before coming here it had been a while since I was totally transported by a good book.  Every once in a while, I really don't want to be in Guatemala and there is no better way to escape than a good book.  I don't think I have loved reading this much since staying up all night to finish The Little House on the Prairie.  

8.  I've developed a whole new appreciation for electricity.

... And it really sucks when you don't have it.  Especially if you happen to be hosting a Christmas party.  Candle-lit dinners lose their charm real fast.

9.  I've learned that I really love Latin Pop.

Because, of course.  Exhibit A: The better, Spanish version of Enrique Iglesias' Bailando.

As always, thank you to everyone who has learned these lessons alongside me or has been incredibly patient while I have been learning these lessons.

Thank You, Nana

I don’t really get homesick anymore.  To be sure, I miss the people I love, Chipotle burrito bowls, and tap water that you can drink.  However, now I have a home here.  I have a house I take care of, a job I love, and friends I see on the weekends.   I feel “normal” here.  I am sure my normal is quite different from yours, but nonetheless I have a normal.

Still, some days every bone in my body yearns towards Massachusetts.  Today is one of those days, as my family is on the cusp of loosing our matriarch, my Nana Anna.  I want to be at her house on Felch Road celebrating the 4^th of July as we did for so long.  Or at her summer home in Plymouth where for many years of my childhood we faithfully made the pilgrimage to Plymouth Rock, despite the fact that it is probably the lamest national monument of all time, in any country.

Being tossed into a world – Guatemala – so different from my own has given me time to reflect on so many cultural norms that I took for granted in the United States.  Most frequently, I find myself thinking about family.  Not a day goes by without somebody asking me about my marital status.  A few times, they have skipped over that and just asked, “Where are your children?”  because it is unfathomable that a 23-year-old woman wouldn’t have any.

Part of the role of a Peace Corps Volunteer is to explain American culture to Guatemalans.  So I (nearly always futilely) explain that I want to have a career and travel and have a house before I have children.  I have spent a long time thinking about why I want these things and I think I know the answer: my mom.  The ten years she took between college graduation and childbearing have made me who I am.  She traveled to Mexico, took time to fall in love, and worked hard at becoming a professional. 

I am who I am because she did that.  Growing-up I had a wonderful example of a worldly, intelligent, hard-working mother.  She didn’t have to tell me to be those things because she was those things and I wanted (want) to be just like her.   There are lots of equally valid routes to becoming a great mom, but I plan on taking the one my mother did.   The time she took to find and become herself is the greatest gift she has given me and because of her example, I am sure that I want to give the same gift to my children.

However, my mom isn’t alone.  In fact, she is one of five children and each is spunky and independent in their own way.  Each of her siblings has walked a unique and admirable path.  How did they get this way?  Well it seems to me that the answer to that question is their mom, my Nana Anna.

You see, Nana herself was a driven and independent woman.  She was widowed at a young age and was forced to raise five children at a time when few women worked outside the house.  Life wasn’t perfect for her, but she was able to provide for her family with her work at the Town Hall, a place where she earned a lot of respect.  She was involved in town politics and, in her younger years, liked to sharpen her brain by knowing baseball statistics.  She was never too old to learn and she never failed to surprise.  Just two months ago, despite her frailness, she danced the night away at my cousin’s wedding with moves that only a grandmother could pull-off.

She was also a woman before her time in her understanding the importance of adventure.  When my dad announced he had taken a new job in Canada, the rest of the family (including myself) was devastated that the job was taking him away from MA, the only home we had ever known.  She saw what an opportunity this was for my dad and the entire family, so she congratulated him genuinely as the rest of us cried.

I remember calling her to tell her that I was coming down to Guatemala.  Her response was “I didn’t realize you were such a wild child.  All of my grandchildren are.  What did your mothers do to you?”

Our mothers did for us what she did for them – provided an example of a hard-working, intelligent woman unfettered by what the rest of the world expected from them. 

As my nana, Anna Dunn, prepares to leave us, the next generation of Dunn (NOT dumb) woman is coming into their own at school, at work, and even in motherhood.  I am proud to be a part of this sisterhood of women carving their own path and I am so thankful to Nana for starting it all.  Many of us were not fortunate enough to inherit her height, but, in each of my cousins, I can see a little bit of her strength.

Thank you, Nana.

The Unsung Heros

Recently, I listened to a beautiful and inspiring TED Talk by Karima Bennoune, titled "The Side of Terrorism That Doesn't Make Headlines".  (You can listen to it here).  The talk discusses the importance and heroics of the everyday acts of defiance that Muslims make against radical Islam.  She talks about the bravery of professors who continue to teach and students who continue to learn despite threats on their life.  She wisely notes that it is these people who need our support and our attention and who will eventually be responsible for the downfall of Islamic radicalism.  I will not pretend to understand the politics of the Middle East or make policy recommendations, but I will say that my experience in Guatemala has lead me to believe that education is always the answer and that change initiated by a people themselves is the only type of sustainable change that exists.

I listen to a lot of TED Talks and podcasts in a desperate attempt to maintain some connection to what is happening outside of my small village.   However, this one really stuck with me and I couldn't figure out quite why; all day I couldn't shake the feeling that her talk was the most relevant and important thing I had heard in a while.  Then, finally, it dawned on me.  The acts of heroism she mentions aren't so different than many of the acts of frequent, but certainly not ordinary, bravery that I see here in Guatemala.

No, there is no radical Islam in Guatemala, but there are plenty of other radical and oppressive notions - generally grouped under the title of "machismo".  Machismo is defined simply as, "strong or aggressive masculine pride", but I think is better described as "radical male privilege".  Machismo is part of life every day for every woman in Guatemala, including myself, and it has very real manifestations, ranging from: co-workers ignoring recommendations from women, to men hanging out their car to slap your ass as they drive by, to quite whispers of the word "puta" as you enter a room, and all the way to femicide.

In a culture that judges women by their ability to marry and have children, it would serve women well to acquiesce to the premise that women are created solely to serve men.  Frequently, due to either lack of empowerment or even awareness that there is another way to be treated, women do accept their role as second-rate members of society.  However, I have also seen amazing women break this mold and I have seen them be supported by inspiring men.

There are many college-educated women I have met who escaped homes of alcohol abuse and family violence.  The husbands of these women often endure jabs from friends and family who believe a woman's place is in the home  There are people all over the country who have lost the majority of their family in the genocide, but still find a way to continue and remain committed to their indigenous heritage.  There are young girls who sit at the front of the class and raise their hand with the right answer even when they know the result will be snickers from the boys in the back row.  There are women who can not read or write, but who manage the purse strings for their family.

I am still here today, a year and a half into my service, because I am proud to be a part of this union of women and men who wake-up everyday with a commitment to lead their best lives in the hope that future Guatemalans will have it a little bit easier.  It's overwhelming to think about the the systematic corruption, epidemic malnutrition, or rampant inequality that plagues Guatemala.  That existed long before I got here and will continue to exist long after I leave.  However, if enough of us commit to these everyday acts of defiance that Bennoune mentions, maybe it will be enough to turn the tides in Guatemala.

I recently spoke to a Christian missionary about the many different types of development work and development workers.  What we concluded during our conversation was that people have to stop telling other people how to act and just show them.  Guatemalan women have showed me time and time again the importance of just going on with your day after a man yells everything he can think of in order to make you feel worthless.  That in itself is an act of courage.

Big policy changes, announcements, and initiatives are important but I hope that I never forget that everyday so many unsung heros contribute silent defiance against oppressive ideologies and that makes a real difference.

WHAT WE CAN ALL LEARN FROM LAGUNA CHICABAL

I'm so proud to be featured as a guest blogger on my great friend, Lindsay McNamara's blog.  She is working hard stateside to make this world a better place and I am always excited when our paths cross.

Here's the link to her blog to check out my most recent post: http://lindsaymcnamara.com/2014/07/02/guest-blog-what-we-can-all-learn-from-laguna-chicabal/

I hope everyone's summer is off to a great start!

Immigration Through My Eyes

I’ve been in Guatemala for about a year and a half now.  Yet, I still don’t know what it’s like to be Guatemalan.  I know only what it’s like to be a white girl in a small indigenous village.  I could live here my whole life and I would still never be able to tell you how it is to be Guatemalan.

Still, my perspective has changed.  I’m not the same person who left the States 18 months ago.  The following quote has decorated my desktop for sometime because it rings so true:

“You will never be completely at home again, because part of your heart will always be elsewhere.  That is the price you pay for the richness of loving and knowing people in more than one place.”

-Miriam Adeney

I will never be completely home again not only because I will miss those whom I have come to love so dearly here in Guatemala, but because my perspective has changed.   I spent the first 21-years of my life in lily-white suburbia, but have now created a home and a life in Latin America.  My views on many issues will never again be seen through the simple lens of my own upbringing.

That’s because I care about Guatemala.  I don’t always like it, but I always care about it.  So, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that the heart-wrenching news of child immigrants, crossing the border without parents, was not only important to me, but also headline news in America.  Though I may not completely understand either side’s view, my US Citizenship and time in Guatemala has given me a unique perspective on this issue.  Unfortunately, it hasn’t given me any answers, but I thought it would be worthwhile to share with you my thoughts.

Parents in Guatemala want the best for their children, just like parents in the United States.  So, what a twisted world it is when a parent believes their child is better off without them in a foreign country than she is at home.  I don’t think I could ever bring myself to make this same decision, but I am also certain that I would never raise my child in Guatemala, particularly a daughter.  So, my unanswerable question is, “After seeing the realities of childhood in Guatemala, how can I blame parents for looking out for their children the best way they know how?”

Unfortunately, this is the best way many parents know how to take care of their children.  One of the earliest and most disturbing things I learned about Guatemala is that success here is defined by going to America.  When you ask children what they want to do when they get older, it is not unusual to hear them say they want to go to America.  It is much more unusual to hear that they want to move to the city to get a job, or be a doctor, or continue their education past high school.  It’s as if the whole country has given up on itself.  The only way they see to provide for their family and make something of themselves is to leave Guatemala.

The widespread desire to immigrate to the US, either legally or illegally, exists despite the well-known danger of the journey.  It’s not unusual for a Guatemalan to leave for the States and never be heard from again.  It is a hazardous trip, but one many feel they must make in order to make their life count. 

Those who do make it to the States send back money, which essentially supports the Guatemalan economy.  They stay for as long as they can, because, if they are illegal, once they leave they must make the very perilous journey again if they wish to go back to the US.  For this reason, there are many father-less families in my small village, even teenagers who have never met their father because he has been in the US their whole life.

To make matters worse for Guatemala, the US makes it a priority to send back the illegal immigrant criminals.  Gang members and drug lords return to a country with low literacy rates, ineffective law enforcement, high unemployment, and many father-less children.  I understand that the US can not be the world’s policeman and the world’s warden, but by sending the worst criminals back to unstable countries while keeping many of the same country’s most hard-working and educated citizens, we are truly preventing any nation from “developing”.  (If you know English in Guatemala, chances are that you are fairly well educated.)

Like I said, living in Guatemala hasn’t provided any answers.  If anything, it’s made the whole debate about what the US should be doing right now more confusing.  However, it is clear that in the long run the real way to reduce immigration is to help make Mexico and Central American countries ones that their citizens want to stay in.

It’s a dark day in Guatemala.  Last year, the country celebrated the conviction of Rios Montt, the first leader to be convicted of genocide in his own country.  However, the ruling was quickly overturned for procedural reasons.  This May, the Guatemalan Congress passed a resolution denying the occurrence of genocide in their country.  These events weigh heavily on a country still recovering from a 36-year-long civil war.  The cruelty of the war, which ended in 1996, left a legacy of violence, directly contributing to many of the country’s current problems.

Sex slavery, drug routes, rape culture, murder with impunity, inadequate educational institutions, and the inequitable fruit and coffee industries are just some of the reasons I would not want my children to live in Guatemala.  All of these things have worsened over the past few years in a country that is only a three-hour flight from Miami.  Those of us in Guatemala are not surprised to see people leaving in increasing numbers and if more Americans knew what was happening here, they wouldn’t be surprised either.

Yet, the US can not play babysitter to thousands and thousands of parent-less immigrant children.

So, as we search for solutions, I ask only that you learn about why people are making what has to be one of the toughest decisions of their life – sending their children on a dangerous journey to a different country.  Secondly, consider how immigration policy in the US affects these Latin American countries.  In the end, their problems are truly our problems because their citizens will continue to risk everything to leave until there is opportunity at home.

Expectations vs. Reality

Hello All!

I have now been in Guatemala for a whole year!!  (WOW, where did that year go?)  I have one year left and it's interesting to see how the reality of Peace Corps has already been so different from my expectations.  Here's a look back at what I've learned so far!

Expectation: Spanish was going to be impossible to learn.
Reality: It's rough to learn a new language and sometimes it's really frustrating to feel like my personality still doesn't show through while speaking in Spanish, but I have definitely "learned Spanish" and the fact that it is my second language no longer really affects my work.  I have actually grown to really love the language and I hope that future jobs allow me to use and continually improve my Spanish skills.  It's a really neat feeling to realize that your vocabulary has expanded without really studying - just speaking and listening to Spanish on a daily basis.  I guess when you need Spanish to eat and work and make friends, your brain just gets to work.

Expectation: I would be camping for two years.
Reality: I live in a house complete with a full kitchen, an "activity room", and even a dog.  While I usually spend a few nights a week without electricity and/or water, my life is pretty comfortable.  I can get internet access using a USB I can get to the second biggest city in Guatemala in just about an hour.  To be sure, I miss certain comforts from home - like washing machines, dishwashers, and cars - but I love my little village of Cajolá and I am comfortable here.

Expectation: I would be constantly battling bizarre illnesses.
Reality: To be sure, there are some nasty bugs you can pick-up here and I've caught my fair share of them, but it usually passes quickly.  My least favorite illness so far has certainly been the fleas, which seem to plague me.  Let's hope this good fortune continues.

Expectation: I would have a hard time keeping busy.
Reality: There is way too much work to do!  My days are full and (generally) happy!  While the work description was initially quite vague, I now have more ideas for the work than I know what to do with.  My official counterpart, the superintendent of my schools, is very "machismo" and difficult to work with, so I have identified health center staff, principals, and teachers who are much more rewarding to work with and who have many ideas of their own.

Expectation: All of my work would be in my village.
Reality: While most of my work is certainly right here in my village, there is a lot of interesting work that many volunteers do for the Peace Corps organization.  For example, I worked on creating a Peer Education manual that volunteers and Guatemalans alike can use to implement Peer Education programs in their schools.  One of my favorite Peace Corps tasks was working on the monitoring, reporting, and evaluation team.  We wrote "data sheets" for new project objectives, created tools to help volunteers with the MRE process, and then helped our peers to report on their progress using Peace Corps' official Volunteer Reporting Form.

In the end, my life is different than I imagined and I am also happier than I ever imagined I could be in Peace Corps.  I have an amazing network of Peace Corps friends and Guatemalans with whom I can commiserate on the bad days and celebrate with on the better ones!  It is the people I have met who have truly made my service what it is.  I already dread the day I have to say good-bye to them.

Well, one year down and one to go!  Thanks for reading!!

¡Feliz Navidad!

I have now spent more than 10 months in Guatemala and these ten months have brought me tremendous happiness as well as abundant opportunity to learn a thing or two.  So, here are  10 lessons learned from my 10 months in Guatemala:

1.    You can not rationalize the irrational.  You just can't.
2.    Good people exist everywhere.
3.    No one is going to stand up for you if you don't stand up for yourself.
4.    It's better to do your dishes as you go along and not let them pile-up.
5.    You never stop missing hot showers.  Don't ever let anyone tell you that you will.
6.    Sometimes, the best thing you can do is close your eyes and repeat to yourself, "This is fun."
7.    Having fleas is the absolute worst.
8.    There is no replacement for being flexible.
9.    It's okay to do nothing once in a while.
10.  Families are created and exist in the strangest of places.

Here is a picture of my Peace Corps family.  Christmas came a little early to Cajolá when 12 of my favorite Peace Corps Volunteers came up to celebrate!  With a little bit of teamwork, we ate 2 stuffed chickens, 5 pounds of mashed potatoes, 2 dozen carrots, 2 pounds of green beans, a squash casserole, 40 dinner rolls, a strawberry-chocolate cake, and brownies!

I can't believe I've only known these fools for ten months, because I have never been closer with a group of people in my entire life...

P.S. We actually are happy; we're just using our Guatemalan picture faces.  They almost never smile in photos!

Merry, merry Christmas to all!  I hope that you enjoy celebrating wherever you are and whoever you're with!

A Camp in Cajolá!!

Last week was one of the craziest of my life because my sitemate and I pulled off a camp for the boys and girls of Cajolá!

This process started about 3 months back when we approached the health center and told them about the idea for the camp.  We asked the health educators if they thought it would be useful and what health problems they thought we could target with the camp.  They enthusiastically responded that they wanted to bring a camp to Cajolá and they wanted to give girls and boys the tools avoid adolescent pregnancies.  (There is currently an effort in Cajolá to end pregnancies in girls younger than 14 years - yes, that is a major problem.  Cajolá has one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in all of Guatemala.)

So, we decided that we would have a week long camp geared towards kids ages 11-16.  Girls would come in the morning for four hours and boys would come in the afternoon for four hours!  Over the next few months we worked with the eleven health educators to solicit funds for the camp, invite participants, and plan the lessons.  Each day was designed with a different theme and each educator was assigned to a specific day.  The health educators were responsible for attending their assigned day and designing the lesson plans.  The results were varied.

A few educators took to planning with gusto; they scouted for resources, asked questions, and prepared materials.  A few other educators didn't show quite the same initiative and left my sitemate and I scrambling to prepare materials at the last minute.  All in all, we were more happy than frustrated with the participation of the educators and very pleased to receive such support from their boss and the coordinator of the health center.

The week before the camp started, Whitney and I put on a two-day workshop for the educators titled, "Effective Strategies for Teaching Health".  This is definitely the part of the camp process that I am most proud of.  The workshop covered everything from the learning cycle to preparing for lessons to gender equality in the classroom.  I hope to repeat this workshop with my teachers sometime during the school year and I hope that other volunteers have the opportunity to replicate the workshop in their sites.  Here is a picture of the coordinator of the health educators leading a session on the "learning pyramid:

Finally, it was time for our camp to start!  We didn't know quite what to expect and tried to prepare ourselves for anything that may happen.  The theme of Day 1 was "Our Camp".  We played games, got to know one another, talked about self-respect, and drew flags to represent ourselves and our futures (pictured below).  The surprises of the day included the fact that the kids who came were younger than the kids we expected and the boys were way wilder than we expected.  My favorite moment of the day was when a health educator was talking about self-respect and one of the Cuban nurses shouted out, "If a boy tells you you are ugly, you tell him he's ugly!"

So, we adjusted our lesson plans to suit younger kids and decided we couldn't ask the boys to stay engaged in any one activity for longer than 15 minutes.  (Hence, many capture the flag breaks like the one pictured below.) 

We got excited for Day 2, which had the theme "Our Values".  We talked about leadership and put on skits where the girls and boys acted out situations that gave them opportunities to be leaders (pictured below).  We talked about respect.  The boys created some rules for the camp that we relied on for the rest of the week and really helped them to be more respectful campers.  The girls created flowers that showed how different each of us really are (see picture below).  We also learned about teamwork through some really fun games.

However, Day 2 was not without it's struggles.  A boy got bit by a dog while we were playing basketball and we had to take him to the health center to get vaccinated for rabies.  He was a real trooper and continued to come to the rest of the camp.  Also, on Tuesday afternoon, many of the health center staff find out, that at the end of the year, they are getting laid-off or transferred to a different health center.  This really killed morale and the health center staff stopped coming to the camp, with the exception of the a nutritionist and two amazing Cuban nurses (one of whom is pictured below) who came everyday.  This was a big, big downer for Whitney and I who had invested months in the health center staff and had really seen this camp as a collaboration between Peace Corps and the health center.

Luckily, in the true spirit of development workers, Whitney and I were prepared for just about anything and we had other Peace Corps Volunteers to help in case the health center staff fell through.  These traveled from near and far to help and share their expertise and we couldn't be more thankful. 

The theme of Wednesday, which was the most fun day if you ask me, was "Our Bodies".  The nutritionist came to talk about nutrition (pictured below) and we drew plates of a balanced meal.  We also played hygiene jeopardy.  Best of all, one of the other Peace Corps volunteers talked about exercise and led us in a Zumba class (pictured below).  All of the kids participated and it was an absolute blast.

The theme of Thursday was "Our Families".  While the younger kids played games (pictured below), the older kids talked about puberty, the dangers of adolescent pregnancy, and played a version of the game of Life, which highlighted the financial benefits of staying in school, having fewer kids, and waiting til later in life to have those kids.  It was a lot of information on some very heavy topics.  So, of course, we ended with some games!!  All of these lessons were very tricky to navigate culturally.  We could discuss the science of each topic, but had to be really careful about the opinions that we gave, especially concerning birth control.

Finally, Friday came, and with it the theme "Our Futures".  Both boys and girls attended camp together in the morning as we created our "life plan".  Each kid wrote one sort of exercise they wanted to continue doing, the career they wanted, something they wanted in their future family, three goals that they had, and they drew their future house.  Probably the highlight of my whole week was seeing that a little boy had written, "I want an intelligent wife".  Then, we celebrated with more games and finally had a diploma ceremony.  Pictured below are all of the graduates with their diplomas:

At the end of the day, like most things in life, the good outweighed the bad and I am so happy that I had the opportunity to share this experience with the kids of Cajolá.  They have been out of school since October, which means many of them have barely left their house in the past three months.  I am happy that together we learned, we danced, and we acted silly.

The health center in Cajolá was just ranked 320 out of the 334 health centers in Guatemala.  I am certainly not happy about this, but it did make me feel a little better that it wasn't just Peace Corps Volunteers that they are having a hard time working with.  Next year, with new health center staff and a few lessons learned in our back pocket, I hope that we can do an even better job creating a camp experience for the kids of Cajolá!

The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly: School Year 1 is over!

Instead of the usual cheerful pumpkins, crisp apples, and bright fall leaves this October brought something it never has before - the end of the school year!

During my first school year, I was concerned mostly with getting to know the schools and having them get to know me.  At each of my 14 schools, I completed introductory visits, school mapping with a class or two, and formal baseline evaluations. 

With all of this time in the schools, I learned that there is a lot of work to be done, but a lot of people to help me do that work!  I have begun to identify the movers-and-shakers of each school to help me put some plans into action over the next school year (which begins in February)

So, here is where the schools stand right now:

• Many schools have to burn their trash, often right in the middle of the children's play area.
• I did not see one kid wash their hands with soap and water after using the bathroom.
• Some of the school kitchens create a lot of smoke which often leaks into classrooms.
• Many of the schools have gym teachers, although I have some ideas about how to make gym class more effective and fun.
• Teachers are supposed to be teaching health twice a week, but this never happens.
• A few schools lack water, bathrooms, classrooms, or faucets to wash hands.
• All schools serve their children snack every day!
• Some schools have begun to cultivate school gardens!

In each school, the Healthy Schools program, which is national, government initiative needs to be strengthened by strengthening the administrators (principals and teachers) in charge of it.  There is plenty of room for growth and plenty of people who want to see that growth happen.  I will spend much of my school break planning for the "Year of the Healthy Students" which I will roll out in my communities next year!  Much of my job is just to provide the enthusiasm to focus some of the work that happens regarding the program!

Until February, my Peace Corps service is sort of a "create-your-own-adventure", so stay tuned for some of my fun in the Health Center and with the youth of Cajolá!

Here are a few pictures from my school visits!

Kids' Group

One thing that most people probably don't know about the Peace Corps is that it is about much more than "world peace and friendship".  While this remains the vision of Peace Corps, the way this goal is accomplished is through cutting-edge development work.  Like the rest of the development field, Peace Corps is setting its sites on SUSTAINABLE development.  For the volunteer, this means lots of reporting, monitoring, and pausing at every step to make sure that their work is sustainable in their community.  While the whole "sustainability" thing is the very point of Peace Corps and the reason I was attracted to this organization, it can make slow-moving work in a slow-moving country, go even slower.

So, every once in a while, you have to cut yourself some slack and do something because it is FUN.  That's where Kids' Group comes in.  I was lucky enough to inherit this awesome group of kids from previous volunteers who had worked with them in my site.  They are a happy, intelligent, kind group of kids and I love working with them. 

We meet one or two times a month.  I simply put a sign up on my door a few days before and they come to my house for games, cooking, and a little bit of learning thrown in.  Recently, I've been inspired to focus our activities around environmental education.  This is something that I think can be really fun, but right now there really isn't space for it in my primary project.  

This week, we composted!!  We began by identifying organic and inorganic trash and talking about what we could do with each type of trash.  Then, we moved on to learning about composting and making our very own compost with California red worms!!  We cleaned up and enjoyed a well deserved snack afterwards!

It might not be the most "sustainable" or "important" aspect of my work, but spending an afternoon with these bright kids always feels like time well spent!

I Don't Want You to Make Me Feel Like I'm the Only Girl in the World

Rhianna might like that, but I've got news for you cat-callers - Females make up more than 50% of the population and, together, we accomplish an awful lot.  We bring the next generation into the world and, in nearly all cultures, we are responsible for raising and educating our offspring.  As if that's not enough responsibility, given the right opportunities, we make incredible contributions to the economy, to the sciences, and to government (just to name a few).  This is what makes us human.  This is what makes us goddesses.

The machismo that pervades Guatemala and many other parts of the world is about more than males thinking they are "better" than females; it is a failure to recognize the personhoods of women.  This makes for interesting academic papers and ideological debates, but it also shapes every moment of a woman's life in Guatemala.  (Of course "machismo" does not just exist in Guatemala, but it's all I can do to figure it out here and I don't want to simply generalize to other Latin American countries.  I would even argue that it exists to some extent in all countries, including the US, but to argue that would require the longest blog post in the world.)

Women are Guatemala's largest untapped resource.  Women are not expected to, or often even allowed to, contribute to Guatemala's formal economy.  Until about 15 years ago, it was a law in Guatemala that a woman had to have signed consent from her husband before starting work.  (Say WHATTT?)  Men allowing their wives to work is still viewed as a sign of "weakness" by many people in Guatemala, especially in the more rural areas where Peace Corps Volunteers work.  Without allowing and encouraging women to work and contribute to the workforce, it is going to be nearly impossible for Guatemala's economy to realize the magnitude of growth that is truly necessary in this country.  On a more micro level, only one working parent is rarely enough to raise healthy, educated children in Guatemala.

Don't get me wrong, there are women in Guatemala who do work.  My host mother works in the local health center.  A little more than half of teachers in my schools are women.  Many other women participate in a more informal way, by selling goods at the local market or out of their home.  Still, this is the anomaly and there doesn't seem to be a place for women in many professions where they could make important contributions.  Without any power in the Guatemalan economy or their family's economy, women have no decision-making power.

Because of this, machismo also has real consequences for the health of women in Guatemala.  Women everywhere face obstacles to receiving proper health care.  The common barriers to proper healthcare in many countries are are knowing the symptoms of illnesses, knowing where to go for help, and then having the resources to actually get to the help.  However, health workers in Guatemala talk about another obstacle - the husbands.  A woman typically has to be granted permission before seeking care for themselves or their children.  Because Guatemalan women rarely have realized economic value or even recognized value in the home, there is often no rush to get them the care that they need and deserve.

It shouldn't be surprising that the lack of understanding about the value of a woman also leads to security issues.  Guatemalan men who don't respect the value of a woman's individuality also do not respect their space.  The first time a town drunk came up to me and draped his hand over my shoulder, I wasn't really scared.  I was just angry.  I wanted to yell, "I HAVE A NICE MOTHER!  I KNOW ABOUT CELL MITOSIS!  I READ HISTORY BOOKS FOR FUN!"  I wanted to yell all of these things because his invasion of my space was a very obvious sign that he didn't know and didn't care about these things.  He saw me walking along the street and noticed nothing but the shell of my body and felt that he had a right to come over and touch it.  He didn't pause to think that the person inside the body may not want to be touched.

While I have had many "Ah hah!" moments about gender in Guatemala, I could spend the rest of my life here and I would never completely understand the experience of a Guatemalan woman.  My light skin prevents me from accomplishing that.  In the workplace, I find that my light skin can be beneficial.  Once I explain that I graduated university and am here to work, I generally get the respect needed to accomplish the work that I came here to do.  However, on the street my light skin can be a detriment.  Most Guatemalans know white women through music videos and movies, where the women are depicted as nothing more than soft porn stars.  We need to get some Eleanor Roosevelt and Hilary Clinton biopics playing down here.

The incessant cat-calling that I experience in the streets sometimes takes the form of a "chhh-chhh" sound that Guatemalans quite literally use to call cats.  Sometimes it takes the form of vulgar phrases in both English and Spanish.  It bothers me: it really does.  It hasn't gotten easier, but I really don't want it to ever be something that rolls off my back.  The problem is not my sensitivity; the problem is the lack of understanding for what women can contribute to our world and the failure to recognize that a feeling soul and a thinking mind lie within a woman's body.

Because these experiences have bothered me so much, I have spent a lot of time thinking about what I can do for the women of Guatemala.  The best I can hope for is that my independence plants a seed in some young girl's mind that lets her know that her life has value and purpose.  Will it work?  Who knows.  Is it enough?  Definitely not.  Machismo culture affects each women individually, but will not be changed until the collective power of our half of the population is valued and respected.  Moreover, it takes more than women realizing their value; their will be no change until men also recognize it.  We might be waiting a while for that.

Silliness

My blog posts tend to be about serious things going on in Guatemala and in my life, but the truth is that there are still an awful lot of "normal", silly moments in my life.

For example...

Yesterday morning, I was in a rush, like usual.  (Why did I ever think that Peace Corps was going to be two years of meditating?)  The result of this rushing was that I locked my keys in my room and the spare key that my host family had made didn't work.  26 hours later, I finally got back into my room.

I just wanted to let you all know that for future reference, picking a lock is a great opportunity for cultural integration.  My host family and I joked about how we wish we knew robbers, because they'd be able to pick a lock.  Everyone from my five-year-old host brother to my host parents and my Mam* teacher took a whack at trying to open the lock.  I was freezing and my host sister lent me her favorite Angry Birds sweatshirt.  I stayed at my sitemate's old house last night because her bed was still there.  Finally, a carpenter came over this morning and took off the door knob.  (He couldn't come yesterday because carpenter's don't work on Sundays.)

I don't think I can overstate how unhappy I was being locked out of my room, but now that I'm back in, I know that I have a great story that my Guatemalan family and I will laugh about for a long time to come.

*Mam is the indiginous Maya language that everyone in my site speaks.  I am TRYING to learn it.  Stay tuned to see how that goes...

The Only Gringa

My life is about to change, a lot.

Since arriving in site, more than two months ago (where does time go???), I have had two sitemates.  They have helped me with everything from introducing me to their connections in town to telling me where to buy the best peanut butter.  In a very short time, they have become two of the best friends I have ever had.

This week, they both left.  One left and is going to be traveling for a month before coming back to Guatemala to work.  The other left more unexpectedly for medical reasons and is now happily enjoying hot water that comes from the faucet in Oregon.  I am going to miss them, but I am so looking forward to hearing about their adventures and I know that, thanks to the miracles of the 21st Century, I can still pick their brain for everything they know about Peace Corps and Guatemala and just life in general.

Without sitemates to eat with, chat with, and dance with, life will be quite different.  I loved having sitemates to work with and hope to be getting another one in August, but until then I will enjoy my extra time by working a lot, spending more time with my host family, and establishing my own routine here (i.e. running, cooking, setting up my apartment).  Most Peace Corps Volunteers around the world do not have sitemates, so I'm excited to give it a go for a few weeks!

School in Guatemala

School in Guatemala.  Where do I even begin?  There are so many differences between school in Guatemala and the US.    Learning exactly how schools work here has been one of my first and most important challenges. 

I have been working with fourteen grade schools, the grades are K-6, but some of the children are as old as 14.  The smallest school has about 70 children and the largest school has about 400.  Working in the classrooms has been way more fun and rewarding than all those boring things I have to do with adults.

The school day in Guatemala technically goes from 8:00am-12:30pm, but usually goes more like 8:30am – 12:00pm.  Snack and recess usually take up the whole ten o’clock hour.  This leaves about 2.5 hours each day of instruction.  The doors to the school are often left open, leaving stray dogs and small children to come and go as they please.

The teachers in the school are also the janitors, administrators, and cooks (the children receive a snack each day); as a result, the teacher is often not even in the classroom and young students are left to copy things from the white board as their only method of learning. 

Furthermore, student: teacher ratios are about 30:1 on a good day.  There are no aides or reading specialists.  If a child misses a lot of school or just can’t keep up, they can repeat a grade, but there are no IEP’s – just the hope that another year will do the trick.

Teachers rarely have more than a high school education.  Many people become teachers chose their profession simply because they do not like the other career paths offered at their high schools.  This being said, there are some really wonderful teachers in Guatemala.  I think it is especially impressive when teachers pursue a college education, given that there is no financial incentive to do so.

There are no libraries, computer labs, gymnasiums, or cafeterias in any of my schools.  Children do all their learning in one classroom and all of their playing on one dirt field (and a basketball court, if they’re lucky).   This set-up obviously has some serious draw-backs, but there are some really net things that come of it, too.

Kids of all grades interact and they interact very nicely.  Recess is typically a time where brothers and sisters check in on one another.  There is typically three or four games happening on the field at once, which appears to me to be chaos, but everyone is happy, so I don’t ask questions.

Children each have chores to do to keep the school running (i.e. retrieving snack, mopping classrooms, collecting trash, etc.) and they do them without complaining.  There is typically a fair degree of chaos inside the classroom with kids moving around and leaving as they please, but generally when the teacher does ask them to do something, they do it.  For the most part, kids are even respectful to me, the strange white girl who is still learning Spanish.

Teachers are required by the government to teach English, at least once a week..  However, the teachers don’t know English and the result is some bizarre pronunciation of English words: for example, pronouncing the “e” on the end of “blue” – “Blu-EEEE”. 

So, this week, I am beginning a class for teachers about teaching English.  The two hour class will combine English lessons and discussions on teaching methodology.  I am not particularly qualified to teach either of these things.  However, my 21 years of education were all about learning to identify a problem, find a solution, and presenting that solution.  Therefore, after a quite a few hours of research I am ready to get started.

If you, too, can think critically, please go hug a teacher!

P.S. Here are some pictures of a few of the awesome kids with whom I've been working!